Spits and Splatters

I hate to share a bathroom with a man, even a man I love and am married to. All of the spitting, splattering, hocking, shaving and nose trimming is just too much for me to bear. Guys don’t care if their dirty underwear is lying on the floor –for days even, if someone doesn’t pick it up – or whether they leave a used T-shirt in the sink. Some of them will spread out personal accessories, toiletries, medicines, clothing and whatever else they walk into the bathroom with over as much counter as there is.

Having separate bathrooms is one thing that keeps our marriage happy and strong. In the beginning, my husband didn’t really understand that. He thought we should share not just the same bed but the same sink, shower and dressing area. I tried it for a while, but we were both miserable. I’m an early riser and he’s a very light sleeper. I like to listen to my ‘radio preachers’ as I get ready, and the noise of the podcast plus my hair dryer made it impossible for him to sleep while I was in the bathroom.

He is a very quick get-ready, much faster than I am. He likes to sleep till the last minute, bound out of bed joyful to be alive, turn on the TV for the latest talking head opinions news and step into a really hot shower. I on the other hand am NOT a morning person. I don’t even like someone breathing my same air until I’ve had a cup of coffee, and for heaven’s sake do not speak to me unless someone is dying or the house is on fire.

So, the hall bath has become my bathroom when we don’t have guests. I love it. It’s my sanctuary. I can keep my hair accessories out in a basket on the counter without having toothpaste and spit flung on them with gale wind force. My necklaces hang across one side of the wall, suspended delicately on small pegs without the danger of Mr. Bull in a China Shop knocking them off into a permanent tangle. My flat iron and phone charger stay lined up neatly against the other side of the counter, and counter top and mirror stay free of spits and splatters. A neat and orderly bathroom is a lovely thing.

Recently we had house guests – two professional dance instructors who were in town for a national swing dance event (they teach Shag, Balboa, Lindey Hop and they are amazing). I geared up for moving my things from the hall bath to our master bath, ready to sacrifice for the dance community by housing its rocks stars and sharing a bathroom with my husband. I staked out my territory, claiming the section of the long countertop as far away from my husband’s sink as possible. As it happened, God gave me two huge blessings. One, the cleaning lady came the day the guests arrived, saving me the disgusting job of cleaning my husband’s bathroom. Two, my wonderful husband whom I love decided to head for the Ranch that weekend, and I ended up having his entire bathroom to myself. Heaven on earth!

The guests are gone, and I am back in my bathroom space once again. Grateful to have my husband home safe and sound, grateful also to have escaped the Spit and Splatter Zone. It’s the little things 🙂